According to the latest data from the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), a study of 52 areas in 45 US states showed that overdoses from opioids increased 30 percent between July 2016 and September 2017. In the Midwest, it’s more like 70 percent. That’s a staggering increase, which is why you’ve heard so much about the opioid epidemic lately.

The “average” American may not know anyone struggling with an opioid addiction, and fewer still know anyone who has died from an overdose. To them, statistics like these are just scary-sounding numbers. But those of us in the social sciences, particularly clinicians, know many of the stories behind the data. We know people who have tried to recover and failed, recovered and relapsed, and everything in between. We understand too well the pain and helplessness of losing someone to drugs or alcohol.

The search for meaning is as much a part of the grieving process as it is part of life in general. Memorials and scholarships are just a few of the ways that we ascribe meaning to someone’s life and ensure a legacy, even if it’s to serve as a cautionary tale. But the increase of opioid deaths has had a positive effect on another, more enduring crisis: The shortage of organ donors.

Organ donation by the numbers

If you need an organ, the odds aren’t in your favor. As of this writing, some 115,000 people are on the waiting list for organs. About 20 people die each day waiting for an organ that never comes. Though people overwhelmingly support organ donation, only about half of us are actually registered. Of those who are, only about 3 in 1,000 will die in such a way that organ donation is even possible.

From 2000–2017, the number of organ donations coming from overdose deaths has seen a 13-fold increase, which is good news for people awaiting transplants. Overdose victims are often relatively young and their deaths don’t typically result in trauma to the organs, so they can be good candidates. However, users of illicit opioids like heroin are also at greater risk for diseases like HIV and hepatitis C, which can make organ donation risky.

Still, organ donations from overdose deaths have seen a 24-fold increase from 2000–2016. Survival rates for recipients are comparable to those receiving organs from medical or trauma deaths, especially since it’s now possible to cure hepatitis C.

Finding meaning in tragedy

Overdose deaths feel especially senseless. They’re usually accidental but not in the same way as, say, running a stop sign. They carry a certain stigma in society. The assumption is often that the victim made one poor choice after another or fell in with the wrong people, when in fact they’re just as likely to have become addicted as a result of an injury or irresponsible prescription practices. That stigma and guilt often remains with the family after they’ve lost a loved one to an overdose, making the grieving process that much more difficult.

But knowing that the loss of one life can help save up to eight others can ease the pain and anguish that comes with losing someone to an overdose. Heart, lungs, liver, pancreas, kidneys, and intestines are all potentially life-saving organs that can be harvested for transplant. But tissues like tendons and skin can also help those in need, as well as corneas, hands and fingers, and even faces. Of course, blood, bone marrow, and platelets can also be donated.

Losing someone close — for any reason — naturally leads to a search for meaning in their loss. It’s good to discuss organ donation with all your family members and know what their wishes are should the unthinkable occur.

Unfortunately, the most crucial hours for organ donation following a death are also the most confusing and fraught for loved ones. Our hope is that, by increasing awareness of the organ-donor shortage, the families of overdose victims might have a clear purpose and focus during the initial hours of shock and confusion: Know the victim’s wishes. Know their medical history. By taking swift action to save and potentially donate life-saving organs, you can quickly bring meaning their loss and give someone on the waitlist the news they so desperately want to hear. The solace you find in doing so may give you strength during the hard times to come.

The post The Opioid Crisis and Organ Donation appeared first on True North Recovery Services.

Leonard’s perseverance through a litany of childhood hardships earned her the annual award, which will help offset the costs of a college education.

Mandy, as she’s called by those who know her best, used her application essay to chronicle her difficult and chaotic childhood. Her parents split up when she was just five years old and her mother started dating an abusive alcoholic. Her older brother took the brunt of his abuse for her sake. When her mother became pregnant again, she and her brother went to live with their father and his new family. She hoped the abuse might finally end, but all that changed were the abusers—this time her stepmother and stepsister.

Over the next several years, Mandy descended into a cycle of depression and self-loathing that culminated in a suicide attempt at age 14. The narrative that played over and over in her mind was that she was worthless and undeserving of love, and she believed it. Her grades and personal relationships suffered.

But by the time she began her senior year, Mandy’s narrative began to change. Friends and teachers who knew all she’d faced over the years reminded her that she wasn’t worthless and that they had faith in her. She became more self-possessed and confident. Her grades improved dramatically. She left her toxic household and has stayed with friends while she finished school. An interest in music led to a friendship with Shauna Saatzer, her choir instructor at the tiny rural high school two hours north of Anchorage.

In recommending Mandy for the award, Saatzer offered an elegant metaphor.

“In society and education, we speak of trauma, resiliency, grit, and many other ‘buzzwords’ for concepts of survival. We understand more and more of the neurology that occurs in kids who live through very harsh circumstances, and how their brain elasticity can help them move forward.

“I also personally believe this trauma shapes them. Like a prized, rare sword, they endure the bending and hammering to become flexible, incredibly strong, and beautiful items prized around the planet. Mandy is on her way and reminds me of ancient Damascus steel, except in reality she is one of our most modern and exotic alloys.”

Having become essentially independent, Mandy took a job cleaning April Moore’s family hardware store in Talkeetna (pop. 876). She, too, saw an inspiring and remarkable change in Mandy.

“The Mandy I see is not the Mandy she was,” said Moore in her recommendation letter. “This young lady worked hard to overcome a difficult childhood and succeed in school. She has impressed me with her desire and determination to change her life. I believe the support this scholarship would provide will propel her into a bright future.”

Mandy plans to attend Mat-Su College in nearby Palmer next fall with a major in human services. Her goal is to become a social worker and help other kids in abusive situations.

“I want to be the social worker who understands what abused children go through and give them good advice on how they can learn from the negative experiences in their life,” she said. “I want to show the kids there is a better way of living life and that opportunities always exist!”

You can read Miranda’s story here: Maranda’s story

About the Kristina Flores Overcoming All Odds Scholarship

The Kristina Flores Overcoming All Odds Scholarship was created by True North Recovery Services both to honor the life and achievements of the late Kristina Flores, who tragically passed on at the age of 23. Applicants who have overcome great personal hardships to complete high school are encouraged to apply. The scholarship will go to the person who best represents themselves through their application with an emphasis on their essay.

The post Kristina Flores Scholarship Awarded to Maranda Marie Leonard appeared first on True North Recovery Services.

The post Do No Harm – The Opioid Epidemic appeared first on True North Recovery Services.

When Google decided to ban all advertisers from bidding on rehab related keywords, it was a pretty big blow to call centers that participate in body brokering.

These call centers would spend massive amounts of money each month on Google AdWords ads, then sell the placement to the highest bidder (seems legit). Some of these companies were spending up to $250k a month!

If you own a treatment center and have ever dabbled with AdWords, you know that these clicks weren’t cheap, reaching up to $200 for a single click. Competing against a call center with a massive budget is frustrating because the more competition there are for keywords the higher the average cost-per-click is.

With the introduction of the vetting process that will roll out in July of this year for 20-30 treatment centers to get AdWords ads back (more will be approved in the following months), that leaves call centers out of the mix because they are not allowed.

Since the ban happened, call centers that were only investing in Google AdWords had to figure out how to keep the calls coming in and a “workaround” has been identified and exploited.

Google banned most keywords, but they did not include treatment center business names. This means that call centers can and are likely bidding on your business name to try and steal your branded traffic.

Here’s an example of 2 call centers bidding on our brand name “True North Recovery Services”:

With Google AdWords, advertisers are allowed to bid on brand names, even trademarked business names. There are certain rules for bidding on trademarked names, you can bid on the name but you are not allowed to include the trademark in any of the ad copy.

Unfortunately, True North Recovery Services isn’t trademarked (yet!) so the ad that is including the business name is within the guidelines of Google AdWords.

You would think that when Google decided to ban all ads for rehab related keywords, they would have included the business names of all treatment centers, but here we are.

Why should you help?

The more evidence we have the more likely we can get action taken and have your treatment center name added to the keyword ban list or might even get their accounts suspended. Win-win, right?

This is how you can help:

Do a few searches on google.com for your treatment center name. If you see call centers are showing up with ads attempting to steal your branded traffic, take a screenshot and email it to blake@ricketyroo.com.

If you don’t see ads show up, that’s great! Do us a favor and help us spread the word by emailing or sharing this on social media.

About the author:
Blake Denman is the President & Founder of RicketyRoo Inc, a digital marketing agency that helps treatment centers get better visibility online using ethical and sustainable SEO.

The post A Call To ALL Treatment Centers, Shady Call Centers Are Striking Again appeared first on True North Recovery Services.

Michael C. Koch is a former narcotics detective who now works as an addiction counselor at True North Recovery Services. He recently joined host Steven Kavalkovich on his podcast series, “Rescue the Rescuer,” to discuss how the stresses of his job led to addiction and a new calling as a therapist.

Listen to “Ep012- Michael Koch- Narcotics Cop to Addict to Therapist” on Spreaker.

Read more about Michael’s experience in his 2017 article, “Law Enforcement Professionals Need Help Too.”

The post A Badge Is No Shield From Addiction: Michael’s Story appeared first on True North Recovery Services.

On the surface, committing to an inpatient program may feel more like going “all in,” signaling to everyone that you’re serious about it. But recent studies show that an intensive outpatient program (IOP) can lead to equally positive outcomes, even when medical detox is required. Moreover, inpatient treatment tends to be significantly more expensive, and it’s useful to know that expensive doesn’t necessarily mean better.

IOP is structured around a specific weekly time commitment, typically 2–4 hours per day equating to 9–12 hours per week, for as many as 12–16 weeks. It’s almost like an internship, which is by design. In some respects, it requires a deeper commitment to recovery than inpatient programs that may require less time overall. But patients have more, and more frequent access to their support systems with IOP, and can usually work around other commitments such as work, contributing to a greater feeling of control.

One reason IOP is so effective is that it lends itself to a model of continuing care. Your recovery is a journey in which you must replace bad habits with good ones, so integrating your daily and weekly routines into the process makes sense. Inpatient care tends to be more expensive and removes the patient from the context of their life, which can lead to other issues such as depression and low self-esteem. However, since inpatient care and IOP are equally effective, the difference in outcomes depends as much on the patient and the situation as it does on the people and protocols.

IOP can also be a very effective bridge between inpatient care and less-intensive phases of treatment. Many patients enter IOP following an inpatient program, helping ease their transition while continuing to emphasize discipline, accountability, and frequent access to professional help.

The key thing to realize is that you have options for your recovery. Committing to rehab shouldn’t necessarily mean packing your bags and saying goodbye to family and friends, any more than a vacation requires three weeks in Fiji. Knowing there are equally effective—and less expensive—options puts you in the driver’s seat.

Here are 5 benefits of attending an IOP [infographic]

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</p> <p><strong>Please include attribution to https://sandiegoaddictions.com with this graphic.</strong></p> <p><a href='https://www.sandiegoaddictions.com/inpatient-rehab-vs-iop/'><img src='https://www.sandiegoaddictions.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/advantages-of-iop.png' alt='5 Benefits of IOP' width='800px' border='0' /></a></p> <p>

Source:
McCarty, et. al. (2014, June 6) Substance Abuse Intensive Outpatient Programs: Assessing the Evidence. Retrieved from https://www.ps.psychiatryonline.org/doi/full/10.1176/appi.ps.201300249

The post Going Into Rehab Doesn’t Have To Mean Going Away appeared first on True North Recovery Services.

A letter to the family or person seeking treatment…….again

Let me start by saying, I am really sorry this is happening. I don’t say it out of pity as I spent some years in my own active addiction and in addiction treatment.  I just know how it feels and I’m really am sorry you are in it.  If you are a man or a woman who is faced with this again, the frustration, embarrassment, and exhaustion can be monumental.  Lets face it, it sucks.

I work with a lot of people and have for a long time.  Many of them with a story like yours.  They have been to 1,2,17 treatment programs in the past.  Each of them promising a plethora of miracles and rarely any of them saying, “you know, we are going to do our best with the best knowledge available, but we don’t know how this is going to turn out.”  That statement is the truth really.  If you are a loved one reading this, it may be even harder to hear because the anxiety, fear, even terror has mounted.  Trying everything you can to influence or even control the behavior of your loved one has left you exhausted.  For your situation as well, I am sorry.  I face it within my own immediate family.  Even with 20 years of experience helping a lot of people break their chains, I can’t help my mom.  She’s been dying for a number of years now and I have done a lot to stop it, including being an example myself.  It just isn’t up to me.  It isn’t up to you either.  I know I can make sure I don’t enable her and I can make sure I keep myself as emotionally sane about all of it as I can, but some days are better than others.

Adding to all of this frustration are the barriers.  The moments of willingness can sometimes be fleeting and quickly lost if not seized upon.  Sometimes even what appears to be a moment of willingness has turned out to be an attempt to get heat off that puts you back in the same situation, or worse, with a wallet that’s 50 thousand dollars lighter.

Now comes the part where I level with you.  (There will be swearing)

Our field of addiction treatment hasn’t been your friend.  Here are some of the facts about what a lot of us have been doing to you:

• The day you called into the 1-800 dial a rehab number that had a sympathetic commercial, we lied to you. We then turned around and sold you to the highest bidding rehab out there, no matter how bad it was.  The going rate was anywhere from 500-5,000 depending on what kind of insurance you had.  It is fucked up and its happening all the time, to this day.  You weren’t even talking to a counselor most likely, or anyone even remotely qualified to assess you.  In some of the worst call centers, the people on the phone were actively ill with a substance use disorder themselves.  In nearly all cases, they are sales people who are on commission.  The more a facility is paying, the more they make on you.  It’s illegal to sell you in nearly every state.  I’m sorry the legal system has done so little to protect you when you are this vulnerable.

Don’t use these lines.  If you need a referral for a treatment center, get one from a licensed physician, therapist, or professional.  Insist on knowing their credentials and look up the credentials if they are unfamiliar to you.  Some of them were just flat out purchased.  Even some degrees are sometimes purchased.  Wikipedia usually keeps a good list of degree mills. 

• We promised you “free sober living”. This seemed like a god send at the time didn’t it?  What you didn’t know was that we were going to commit fraud with your insurance company (who doesn’t pay for non-medical services), take advantage of the laws that protect your rights to a clean and sober living environment, and drive the cost of already overpriced treatment up so the next time you needed help it was even harder to access.

You are better off in a very low cost sober living home that isn’t involved in any of this.  Motives count do they not? If you cannot afford a high end  sober living home, that is a reality of your use and one that should be faced.  Frankly, we are enabling you and shielding you from the realities.  We may also be incentivizing relapse by making your “treatment” have more amenities than your real life. 

• We sold your pee. Believe it or not, your urine is worth a lot of money to a lot of laboratories out there and they pay a lot.  I get an email on LinkedIn about once a week from some new lab that wants your urine.  This is called a kickback and its again, illegal.  This is the other way we give you the free sober living.  My favorite lab rep was the one who said I “hurt his feelings” because I told him to get the hell out of my office.

Its hard to tell who is doing this from the patient point of view.  Some signs of these types of activities are explosive, fast growth of a facility.  Did the program go from 6 or 12 beds to 50-100 in three years?  This is how unless they had a major capital infusion which isn’t common unless these kinds of profits are illustrated to the investment group.  Investors typically don’t care about you. They care about spreadsheets. That is a fact. 

• We placed you at the wrong level of care. We wrote our assessments up in a way that would make you fit the criteria for the highest reimbursing level of care whether it was what you needed or not.  We then kept you in those levels of care while your life passed you by, over and over again.  Using for a week does not mean you need another 6 months in treatment.

If you question this, sit down with a trusted clinician and the American Society of Addiction Medicine’s criteria for various levels of care.  Go through them with the physician or therapist and see what they think.  Do they think you need this level of care based on this criteria? An independent assessment can go a long way toward finding out what is what. 

• We delivered shitty treatment. Group  therapy is done with 4-8 people in group.  Anything more than that usually isn’t therapy (with some exceptions like sociometry/psychodrama, and within reason, multifamily process groups).  It’s a class.  One that you already went to in the first three programs.  Why are we putting you through it again?  Having 20 people in a room and calling it “group therapy” is a farce, and you should know it.  This isn’t to say that education isn’t part of treatment.  It is, but not like this.

Ask for specifics.  How many people are in group sessions?  Who facilitates the bulk of the groups?  The website says there are several  types of professionals?  How much time in the clinical calendar do they spend with you?  Is it a bait and switch?  If the whole staff is filled with consultants who stop by, they wont know you or your case most likely.  Are they part of the clinical treatment team meetings that occur daily or weekly depending on the facility?  If they aren’t, they are not going to be the ones who are doing most of the influencing of your care.  Some consultants are ok, but be careful of this.  By the way, life skills is often a billable, bullshit group and isn’t done well.  When it is there is a specific curriculum for it.  Otherwise its probably beach walks with a tech or chopping vegetables with the cook for a day. 

• We gave you the least qualified people in the field to do the bulk of your work with. Most of the people you are sitting with the most have been to one year of community college in most programs followed by some often loosely supervised internship hours they may still be getting.  Mostly they are well meaning members of AA or NA, telling you about AA or NA.  Sometimes you get a therapist for part of your treatment.  Often that therapist is at the very beginning of their career.  A lot of you were getting more from your therapist back home in once a week appointments because that therapist has been in their profession for 10 or more years.

This solution is largely the same as the last.  Find out who is giving you the treatment.  If you want a non-12-step pathway, who on their staff has any training in anything else?  Is the DBT group really DBT or do they throw a worksheet at you once in awhile and mostly confront you on not having a sponsor yet?

• We sojourned you from your family. By swooping you up and sending you out of state, we cut you off from meaningful work with your primary support system.  It just doesn’t make any damned sense.  Then we used up all of your outpatient benefits to keep you longer and then sent you home without any change in the home environment or help to improve it.  You no longer meet criteria for outpatient treatment and/or we used up all your benefits.  You’re welcome, we taught you how to stay sober with almost 24 hour monitoring and sent you home to sort it out.  Usually we at least give you the website for AA in your area along with a random therapist in your area that we got off of a directory website.

How is your family involved?  Do they make a point of asking you about it at intake?  Do they have dedicated family therapy that’s happening?  Intensives?  Regular family therapy appointments?  The intensive is more important in residential because you don’t have time to build rapport with most families otherwise and as a therapist you can only go so far if you do only weekly sessions because there isn’t enough containment to build the emotional safety required in the midst of all of the chaos surrounding entering treatment.  Once you are in PHP or IOP levels of care, it should be offered regularly. 

• We let you believe that accreditation boards meant anything at all. Having accreditation as a program by CARF or JCAHO means you knew which lawyer to hire.  All it is really is writing up a good policy and procedure manual.  There are some good ideas in there, but none of them can overturn purely profit motives.  Sorry we made you a widget and got the factory certified to fool you.  Let me tell you here and now, these accreditation boards mean nothing anymore.  Once upon a time they did.  Now, at least in this field, they mean you get an easier ride with the insurance companies.  That’s it.

To a degree on this one, I don’t know what to tell you.  These organizations have failed us.  Make sure the program is licensed by the state and that the staff are licensed and certified appropriately.  You can usually look up professionals certifications and licenses online to verify, including physicians. 

• We referred you to unlicensed, uneducated people and told you they were the best thing for you. Most of them got some training over the weekend at a seminar on methods that are not even evidence based, and the folks with them usually don’t have the qualifications or baseline education to even understand the concepts.  We call them coaches, companions, partners, etc.  Mostly they are people who saw a quick buck to be made, especially in major metro areas, and went for it.  Some of them saw the emerging trend and set up “schools” for them.  The schools are not accredited and are usually not run by active clinicians.  Again, we fucked you.  And it was expensive.  At least here in CA, most of them are guilty of committing a crime according to our business and professionals code.  They are practicing psychotherapy, in private practice, without a state vetted license.  Let me tell you, as a licensed therapist, we go through a lot to get these licenses, and its for your protection.

There are a few good ones out there.  But they are very few.  Most of them are straight up hustlers and/or incompetent, and unless you have a really trusted referral source, I wouldn’t seek them out.  (this will create some negative attention to this post online so be forwarned) Most of them will be out of the field in a few years or less.  Some of them are independently wealthy themselves and survive a bit longer because they don’t need to hold a job and they can go long stretches without work. 

Look, by writing all of this, I am going to catch a lot of guff online.  Probably a bit of applause from some brave people who see it too.  The fact is, a lot of us are tired of it.  Really tired of it.  But a lot of people are selling false hope and making a “killing” on it.  Some movement has been made to stop some of the biggest and worst but its slow going and you don’t have time to wait to get help.  I will probably be called jaded, or resentful.  Maybe worse.  That’s ok.  I can survive that just fine.  I want you to know what’s happening out here.  It’s the wild wild west, or south if you are in Florida.  The fact is, I was here before this “boom” of treatment programs and I will be here long after they are gone.  I will never see the volume of people they will, but ill guarandamntee you my outcomes will be better.

James “Kansas” Cafferty, LMFT is the founder of True North Recovery Services and Cafferty Clinic. He has been in the field of addiction treatment since 1997 and is a person in long term recovery since 1996.  He has worked in facilities ranging from non-profit outpatient to high end and exclusive.  His article can be reproduced only in its entirety and only when credit is given to the author inclusive of this section.

The post An apology from providers to those we “help”….. appeared first on True North Recovery Services.

Earlier this week, we chose Solomiya Dezhnyuk as the winner of this $1,000 scholarship award.  Through her beautiful essay, Solomiya described how she was able to overcome difficult health issues, graduate high school, and begin attending college. When Solomiya was only 2 months old, she developed an infection on her spinal cord, which caused left side paralysis, and at 6 years old, the situation advanced to scoliosis. At 7 years old, doctors decided to give her growing rods, which would require surgery every 6 months to stretch out her spine. From 7 years old, she was required to balance school and spinal surgeries at a hospital 3 hours away from her home. Once she entered middle school, it became very difficult to keep up with her education while being absent from school so often.

In 11th grade, Solomiya received a spinal fusion that caused her to miss school for 3 months. Unwilling to fall behind, she had a tutor come to her house to help her learn what she was missing in school. Unfortunately, the spinal fusion failed and during her senior year, Solomiya had to undergo three surgeries within 2 months at a hospital out of her home state. While most seniors were thinking about what dress they would wear to prom, Solomiya was thinking about contacting doctors and her medical insurance coverage. On top of all that, she was having great difficulty breathing, because her spine was compressing her organs and lungs. It was very difficult for her to eat and walk, because it took so much energy and breath to do those activities.

However, through all of these challenges, Solomiya was able to continue her schooling. Her senior year she went to prom, took an AP class, was in ASB leadership, and made the honors society club. During her most difficult times, people suggested that she drop out of school. But Solomiya was determined to finish. She didn’t want her circumstances to stop her from succeeding. She considers graduating high school with her peers and being involved in extracurricular activities, all while dealing with her health issues, to be one of the biggest accomplishments of her life so far.

After her latest surgery during her senior year, Solomiya’s health has been better than ever. She has been able to attend college and continue her education. We are so excited to present this award to Solomiya. Her dedication to her education despite her health issues has inspired all of us. As Solomiya so wisely put it, “Life is precious. We cannot take it for granted. In the end, what really matters is how you choose to react in times of adversity. If you choose to fight, you’ll come out stronger in the end.” Congratulations Solomiya. We are so proud of you, and we encourage you to keep fighting for your education.

The post Congratulations Solomiya Dezhnyuk on winning the KFOAO Scholarship! appeared first on True North Recovery Services.

Table of contents:

How I Attended Coachella, Had A Blast, And Stayed Sober

When I had the chance to attend Coachella with a little over 3 years sober, I was stoked! But that quickly turned into anxiety when I started to think about what a three day music festival might mean, a lot of drugs and a lot of alcohol. Would I be able to handle it? It would be the first music festival I attended while sober. Sure, I had gone to some concerts and one-night events, but I had never attended a three day festival that is notorious for alcohol and drug use. I have to admit, that even with 3 years under my belt, I was nervous. I didn’t really know how being around that many drugs and alcohol would make me feel.

So, I had some things to think about. First, I looked into my motives. Why did I want to go to this festival? Was it for the opportunity to be around drugs and alcohol? Or was it truly to go for the music and to see bands that I love? I also looked at my current program to see if my recovery was strong. I was attending weekly meetings, I had a sponsor that I met with regularly, I had a service commitment, and I had plenty of tools to keep my emotional sobriety strong. After diving into my program, I decided that I did have good motives and that I was in a strong place in my recovery.

However, I also didn’t want to be naive about the situation. I have heard too many times, “If you hang around a barber shop long enough, you’ll eventually get your hair cut.” I knew that I needed to be smart about attending this festival. So, I formed a plan that would help me while there. First, I was attending the festival with a good group of friends that were all sober and had a decent amount of time sober. That, first and foremost, made me feel much safer. I had people I could talk to if I started to feel uncomfortable. I also had many people that I could call, that weren’t attending the festival, if I needed to, including my sponsor, therapist, and good friends in the program.

I also decided to get a room outside of the festival and bring my own car. This way, if I ever needed to leave the festival for any reason, I could. I was taught that it’s always good to have an out. Make it easy for yourself to exit the situation if you need to. And it might not even be because of drugs and alcohol, it could just be that you need a nap or some down time.

When I did attend the festival, I used some things to make sure that I would stay safe, including taking care of myself. It’s easy to over do it on energy drinks and stay up all night, but that can affect my mood and make me feel bad, which was one of my triggers. So I consciously stayed hydrated, I brought my CamelBak and made sure it stayed full all day. I ate three hearty meals to keep my blood sugar regular and avoid crashes. And I made sure to get a good amount of sleep every night. These tools helped me avoid feeling hungry, angry, lonely, tired, aka HALT. Keeping my emotions balanced helped me avoid any slips.

Finally, I knew that I’d have to speak up for myself. If I was feeling tired and wanted to go back to the room, I told my friends and we worked something out so I could head back. If I needed to talk to someone, I made a plan to step away and make the call. I had to speak up for what I needed, even if it inconvenienced people. But, if I’ve learned anything, it’s how important my sobriety is, and if I don’t speak up for what I need, no one else is going to do it for me.

So, I was able to attend the festival with my friends and have a blast. Surrounding myself with other sober people allowed me to enjoy the music and the atmosphere, without feeling like I wanted to get drunk or high. And afterward, I felt invigorated that I could enjoy something without altering my mental state. I was able to remember everything, not loose my keys, and feel great the next day. With the right tools and plan, I was able to attend a three day music festival, stay sober, and create memories with friends that I will never forget.

How I Survived Being Sober On A “Booze Cruise”

I had about four years sober, when a friend invited me to attend a three day cruise with some other young, sober people. The cruise went from Long Beach to Ensenada, Mexico, and many people had appropriately named it the “booze cruise”. I knew that there would be a lot of drinking on the cruise, and that it was a good idea for me to have a plan in place to protect my sobriety.

It was definitely comforting to know that everyone I was attending the cruise with was sober, had some time, and worked good programs. Some of them were very close friends and I knew that if I needed to talk to someone, they would be there for me. I also decided to bring some supportive literature and quotes with me to help me get through any rough situations. It’s basically a notebook of things I’ve written down over the years of quotes and positive thoughts that help me whenever I feel down. I knew that I might not have cell phone reception when we were on the boat, so I might not be able to call other people, like my sponsor. Bringing my quote book helped me feel safe and sane while we were on the trip.

When on the cruise, I had a great time. I was worried about feeling left out, or not a part of, because so many people would be drinking. However, my friends and I simply ordered virgin pina coladas, and no one even caught on that we weren’t drinking. We mixed and mingled and met people, and I truly felt a part of. Sometimes the term alcoholic can feel like it separates me from other people, but most people don’t even realize that I’m any different. It was a lesson in being normal, that my disease doesn’t have to isolate me or prevent me from experiencing activities where there may be alcohol.

By not drinking, my friends and I were able to enjoy the entire cruise. We planned a ton of activities to stay busy, and not just sit by the bar the entire time. We attended comedy shows, danced, sang at the piano bar, and ate a ton of food. Having things to do helped us have fun, instead of wishing we were drinking like everyone else. We were able to enjoy the full experience, and all without dealing with hangovers every morning.

Many cruises offer Alcoholic Anonymous meetings to their passengers, and there are even sober cruises that people can attend. Having these options makes it easier to experience life, without the threat of relapsing. If someone is newer in recovery and hasn’t established coping skills to help in trying situations, it is a good idea to have AA meetings available. After the cruise, I realized that having fun with my friends and being in the moment, made me enjoy the experience. I was too busy having a good time to think about all the people who were drinking or that there was even alcohol around.

How I Stayed Sober Through The Holiday Season

The holidays were always a rough time for me when I was drinking and using. I hated going to family functions, they put a wrench in my plans to get high. I spent the entire night watching the clock, trying to figure out when would be an appropriate time to say, “Well, I gotta go.” Needless to say, I never stayed very long, just long enough to eat a little and get jealous over how many gifts I got compared to the rest of my family. If I wasn’t thinking about getting loaded, I was counting gifts, confirming to myself what I always knew, my family loved everyone else more than me, which gave me the justification I needed for my using.

When I finally got sober, it was right smack-dab in the middle of the holidays, December 3rd, right after Thanksgiving and before Christmas. Those first holidays were definitely harder to get through. I was carrying the guilt of what I had done the holidays past, and I hadn’t yet dealt with a lot of those feelings, nor had I made amends. I prepared, because I knew it might be rough. I had made friends in my program that I talked to regularly, and I even had a sponsor that I could call when I was feeling emotional.

There was a local Narathon going on in my town Christmas Eve through Christmas Day. For those two days, they had Narcotics Anonymous meetings every hour, and food and fellowship. I spent time with my family for their celebrations, but when I wasn’t there I was at the Narathon, attending meetings and fellowshipping. Having those resources really helped me get through that first Christmas.

And then something amazing happened when I did attend my family celebrations. Even though I had less than one month clean, I was able to be present and enjoy the festivities. My family rarely drinks anyway, but during that Christmas they made sure there was no alcohol in the house, which was supportive and helpful. I was able to eat dinner, converse, and be in the moment. And when it came time for presents, I wasn’t counting and judging and angry. I enjoyed watching my family open their gifts, and my nieces and nephews play with the gifts that I had gotten them. It truly felt like a miracle that I could sit with my family and not ruminate over resentments in my head. I knew at that point that getting clean was more than just quitting drugs and alcohol, it was about serenity.

For the holidays after my first year sober, I continued a similar pattern, spending time with my family, but always making time for my recovery, including meetings and fellowship. The more time I’ve gotten, the more “normal” my life has become, and sometimes that means being around alcohol during the holidays. My family isn’t as worried about having alcohol around, and I have many friends outside of the program that drink as well. Even though I am now around it more during the holidays, I still use the same strategies that I used when I was newly sober. I have a sponsor that I can call. I have close friends in the program that I call. And when I am around alcohol, I almost always have someone with me that is also clean and sober. Using these strategies has helped me stay sober through 6 holidays so far, so they must be working, and I don’t think I’ll stop using them.

How I Maintained My Sobriety After Rehab

I had a few different experiences going to rehab, but there was only one time that I actually stayed sober after rehab. The first few rehabs I went to, I definitely wasn’t ready to quit using. However, they were also out of my hometown, and when I went home and back to my life, I had no support system. So, I easily went back to my old habits when emotions were running high and things became difficult. Sure, they taught me to go to meetings and build a support group, but when it came down to deciding the hard way, building that support, and the easy way, calling my drug dealer, I took the easy way out. Like I said this wasn’t the only reason I didn’t stay sober after those first few rehabs, but I believe it did play a part.

The final rehab that I attended was an outpatient program in my home town. My family was at their wit’s end with me, and it seemed like my only option, so I agreed to go. I definitely didn’t want to get sober when I first started going, in fact I think I used for the first two weeks or so. But it got me involved. I attended group therapy sessions and saw my counselor a few times a week. I was encouraged to go to local Narcotics Anonymous meetings, and I did. I ended up becoming desperate for sobriety. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, and I wasn’t really able to play my family anymore, because they started working on their own codependent behaviors and stopped enabling me. With nowhere else to turn, I decided I would try to get sober.

I started going to meetings regularly, as well as continuing my outpatient program. I found a big group of young people, just like me, that were all working hard to stay sober. I fell into the group. Everyone was there to help each other and they took me in. They drove me to meetings, helped me find a sponsor, and even coaxed me into taking my first service position. When it came time to graduate from my outpatient program, I felt confident that I would be able to continue my program, because I had one. I had a routine. I attended some of the same meetings regularly, so I could remain accountable, I had a core group of sober friends and my sponsor to call when I needed to, and I started to build ways of coping other than using drugs.

My outpatient program taught me to take up writing when my feelings were overwhelming. I discovered some self-soothing practices that I knew I could use when I started to feel stressed, like talking a walk outdoors, fellowshipping, or reading. I learned how to identify and communicate my feelings, so when things did come up, I was able to work through them. My outpatient program gave me a lot of skills to use after I left. And creating a routine with meetings and friends kept me in my program and strong in my recovery. To this day, I rely on the same routine to stay sober and sane.

How I Got Through Multiple Breakups And Stayed Sober

I’ve been sober for a little over 6 years, and I can say that I have been through a few breakups in my sobriety. Some were pretty ugly, and some weren’t so bad. Some, I can even look back at and be proud of, my behavior was respectful and honest, and I didn’t react out of anger. I have broken up with others and have been broken up with. Whatever the situation is, breakups can be rough. There is a lot of emotion involved, and it’s easy to slip into old habits when emotions are raw.

For the few breakups that I was proud of, I think doing the right thing, and acting in a respectful manner, helped a little with the emotional aftermath. I still felt sad and heartbroken, but I felt a little better knowing that my side of the street was clean. How did I do it? Well, it’s definitely not like my first instinct was to be kind and gracious. No, I had to work on it with my sponsor and my therapist. Before I reacted to the situation, I would meet with my sponsor or therapist and go over exactly how I should act, even down to the words I should use. It may seem tedious, but that greatly helped me, and as time has gone on, being kind and gracious has become more and more of an instinct, rather than reacting with anger.

While I had some healthy breakups, I also had some not so healthy breakups, full of hurtful texts and lots of crying. In those times, I stayed close to my program. I went to more meetings. I hung out with my sober group of friends a lot! There were plenty of times that heading home and being alone was just too painful, so I would sleep over at a friend’s house. Or if I had to go home, I would talk to my sponsor the whole way there (hands free of course!) and the second I got home I would go right to bed and fall asleep. The support and fellowship of my sober friends really helped me get through those rough breakups.

I also learned some skills to help me deal with the emotional aspect of a breakup. I learned to be gentle with myself and not overextend myself in those times. That’s not to say I would isolate. I learned early on that isolating was the worst thing I could do, it meant I was stuck in my head with myself. I just mean I wouldn’t overextend myself by taking on more shifts at work or committing to activities that I knew would be too much for me. I learned to focus on self-care during these times, to do activities that were self-soothing, like taking a relaxing bath, getting a massage, or taking my dog to the dog park. By soothing myself, I was less likely to turn to something outside of myself for relief.

Over all the years, I have learned how to handle breakups without letting it affect my sobriety. And even though it is a cliche, I used the saying, “This too shall pass” on a regular basis. And it did pass, over time. And once I got over one breakup, when the next one happened, I was able to look back and think, “Ok, I was able to get through that one, I can get through this one.” With a little strength and a lot of support, I was able to move past my breakups without drinking or using.

How I Stayed Sober And Sane While Dating

I’ve experienced a few different relationships throughout my sobriety. I’ve dated non-alcoholics and alcoholics, like me. I even dated a newcomer once, who relapsed while we were dating, and that was not pretty. However, through all of those relationships, I was able to stay sober, learn more about myself, and learn how to have a successful relationship.

When I dated a non-alcoholic, I established a few ground rules for myself, so I could keep my sobriety and my sanity. For example, he invited me to his birthday party with his friends, where I knew there would be drinking. To make sure that I would be ok, I invited a few of my sober friends to go with me. I was able to enjoy the night, without worrying about other people drinking. I also learned to speak up for myself. There were times where he would have a drink, and it really wouldn’t bother me, but other times it would. I learned to speak up for myself and ask for what I needed. I explained to him that sometimes it wasn’t a problem, but I had to reserve the right to say when it was. I simply don’t feel the same every day, and some days a drink in front of me is much more tempting than other days.

Most of my other relationships were spent with people in Alcoholics Anonymous, like me. However, that can also be tricky, and it was good for me to set some ground rules there too. The major rule was that we tried not to get into each others’ programs, meaning we wouldn’t tell each other we needed to go to more meetings, or we needed to make amends somewhere, etc. The most I would say if something came up related to our programs was, “You might wanna talk to your sponsor about that.” I also made it very clear going into a long-term relationship with another alcoholic, that relapsing and continuing to drink without seeking help was a deal breaker for me. I knew I would not be able to be in a relationship with an active alcoholic and it was important for me to make that clear in my relationships.

I haven’t been in a long-term relationship with someone who is actively in their disease. However, I have seen friends and family in these relationships, and what has worked for them is finding a support group or program to help navigate those difficult waters. There are many programs out there to support families and partners of alcoholics and addicts, including Al-Anon or Nar-Anon.

Whether I was in a relationship with a non-alcoholic or dating someone in the program, there were boundaries for me to set in both cases to protect my sobriety. And if I ever ran into issues within my relationships, I was able to turn to my support group, my sponsor, or my therapist to help me work through them. I worked on developing open communication, respecting my partner, and keeping my program strong to give my relationships the best chance possible. Through all the work I have done, and all the experiences I have had, I am now in a long-term relationship with my boyfriend. That isn’t to say everything is perfect all of the time. We still have to work on our issues, but having the program and our support groups allows us to remain healthy and happy.

How I Work Around Alcohol And Remain Sober

I had a few years sober when I started working for a wedding planner. I was very interested in wedding planning and thought that I would really enjoy it, so I was very excited for the opportunity. What I wasn’t prepared for, was all of the alcohol! I guess I should have known, but it didn’t really cross my mind. Every other job I’ve had in sobriety did not involve alcohol, and most of my coworkers knew that I was a sober woman in recovery. So, it was something I knew I needed to prepare for.

One of the challenging things for me was that a lot of the other vendors working the wedding would drink during the event. I remember one wedding, we were all having our dinner break and everyone had a cocktail in their hand. I looked around and clearly noticed that I was the only one who wasn’t drinking, and I thought it was so obvious. I knew everyone must have been looking at me thinking, “Why doesn’t she have a cocktail?” I felt so terribly unique and not a part of.

At the end of the night, I ended up talking to the other wedding planner and told her that I’m in recovery and that’s why I don’t drink. She told me that she didn’t wonder about why I wasn’t drinking, and that she knew other people that just didn’t drink. I had made it such a big deal in my head that I created an entire storyline, without any of it being true. No one even noticed that I wasn’t drinking, and no one even cared. That being said, I’m glad that I shared that I don’t drink. Not everyone can share with their employer why, but it was good for me to establish the fact that I don’t drink. That way when I’m feeling alone and not a part of at a wedding, I don’t feel tempted to take a sip just to be one of the gang. There is an accountability factor when my coworkers know that I don’t drink.

I’ve also had many friends who work in the restaurant industry around alcohol. This can be especially difficult when they work at a bar or brewery, because many companies like the employees to know what the drinks taste like, so they can describe it to the customers. In this instance, it was very important for my friends to be very clear that they cannot drink, not even a taste. There were always other people working that could describe the taste, or my friends would just memorize the other employees’ descriptions.

Working around alcohol can be very difficult, especially in early sobriety. And sometimes it might be better for someone to find another job, than to risk losing the sobriety they have. With a little more time in recovery and a strong program, it is possible to work around alcohol. As always, it’s important to have people to hold you accountable, like friends in the program, your sponsor, or even a supportive coworker.

I also like to use the tool of “running the tape through”, if I become tempted to take a drink while working. I remember that, if I drank, it wouldn’t be fun, like it appears to be for other people. I would be miserable, desperate for my next drink. I remember that my drinking does not look like other people’s drinking. And even when it looks fun and exciting, it wouldn’t be for me.

How I Healed My Familial Relationships And Stayed Sober Through The Process

Needless to say, when I got sober, my relationships with my family were not the greatest. Some of my most uncomfortable moments were during family night at my outpatient treatment program. However, I did learn a lot from those groups. I learned that I was affecting my whole family with my behavior, even when I thought I was doing a good job at protecting people from my disease. My little brother shared that he constantly thought about what he could do to stop me from drinking and using. I never realized that he could be so affected by my behavior. Those family nights showed me that I really needed to work on my relationships with my family.

The one relationship that was the most difficult for me to work on was with my father. Fo many years, he was my reason for drinking and using. I used to feel that he didn’t love me, and that was an easy excuse for me to drink and rebel. So, when I got sober, my father also knew that we needed to work on our relationship, and he asked me to go to dinner with him once a week. It felt like a chore at first, and pretty uncomfortable, because we didn’t really know what to talk about, but we eventually found a groove and I started to look forward to our weekly dinners.

After about a year of dinner dates, I was able to make amends to my father for my behavior and the pain that I caused from my drinking and using. It was very cathartic to discuss the past with him. It felt as though I was able to finally release the guilt and shame that surrounded my relationship with my father, and it brought us closer together.

Then a few years after that, my father made amends to me, and I will never forget that day. When I first started having issues with drugs and alcohol, my father began attending a 12 step group to help him cope with having an alcoholic daughter. He continued to go to his program when I got sober, and through working his steps, he made an amends to me. He touched on every pain and hurt that as I felt as a child. There were so many times that I just wanted someone to acknowledge what I was feeling. And when my father did that for me with his amends, it released something inside of me. My frustration over my past relationship with my father just seemed to disappear that day. That was the defining moment for our relationship. After that day, I now feel like I can be myself, be open and vulnerable, without any reservations or fears.

Today, we have wonderful relationship. We may not agree on everything, and we have very different opinions and beliefs, but we are able to love and care for one another. Through both of us working our programs, taking direction, and making our amends, we were able to truly repair our relationship. It took time and effort, but we managed to get there. Both of us are so grateful to our recovery, because it allowed us to have the kind of relationship that we always wanted.

How My Sobriety Helped Me Stumble Upon My Dream Job

When I stopped drinking and using, I did not have a job. Let’s face it, I couldn’t even take daily showers, so a job was out of the question for me for awhile. However, after about eight months of daily meetings, and getting some sobriety under my belt, I finally got a part-time job. It kept me busy, helped me become more responsible, and it gave me enough free time to continue going to meetings and working on my recovery.

After working at this job for a year or two, a friend of mine in the program got me a job interview at a mental health facility. Before my drinking got really bad, I was able to graduate from college with a Bachelors in Psychology, but the job required that I have at least two years of experience in the field, which I did not have. I went on the interview anyway, and was open about my experience in Alcoholics Anonymous. The company running the program understood that many clients would benefit from employees that had personal experience with alcohol or substance abuse, and they hired me. They took my time in AA as years of experience in the field.

From working that job, I was finally able to take care of myself financially. I started paying my mother rent, she had been letting me live at her house rent free. And I was able to take care of my other bills and living expenses. That job also allowed for me to start making my financial amends, and pay back the people that I had taken from in my using days.

I continued to attend my weekly meetings, work my steps with my sponsor, and nourish my relationships within my support group. As life changed and developed, I did the next indicated thing, and I continued to move up in my mental health company. I worked more hours, got a raise, and started fulfilling my passions of becoming a social worker. From the experience and relationships that I made at that job, I was able to get a job as a social worker at another reputable company. I was able to take my experience and share it with others who were struggling like I had for so many years. That kind of service work only served to strengthen my own recovery.

I found a field where I can make a difference, and I never would’ve gotten that first job in mental health, if it wasn’t for my own recovery. I strongly believe in doing the next indicated thing and following the doors that open for me. I don’t know where the next road might take me, but I do know that I will always be taken care of, that I will always be able to take care of myself, as long as I stay sober and continue working my program.

How I Travel For Business And Stay Sober

Throughout my sobriety, there have been quite a few times that I‘ve had to travel for business. And if you’ve ever been on a business trip, you know that these trips usually mean a lot of drinking for other people. It can be a dangerous place, being out of town, away from my accountability, seeing a lot of people drinking. And many times on these trips, it’s necessary to attend events with drinking, to make connections, and schmooze with colleagues. This isn’t usually a situation where you can just avoid being around others who are drinking. So, I always have plan when I’m away on business.

First, before I leave, I check out what Alcoholics Anonymous meetings are available around where I’ll be staying. Usually, if it’s a bigger city, there are plenty of meetings within walking distance. Even if I don’t plan on going to a meeting every night, I pick out a meeting that I might like attending every night, just in case I desperately need one on that particular night. I also ask around my local meetings to see if anyone knows other AAs that live in the area. It’s always good for me to have point of contact if I really need to speak with someone face to face.

I also let my support group know where I’ll be going, how long I’ll be gone, and what my plan is for my meetings. This just gives me an extra sense of accountability. I make sure to check in with my sponsor while I’m gone and others in my support group, to make sure that I stay connected and don’t loose my sense of well being.

Finally, I bring literature with me. I bring my big book, daily meditations, and my journal. I make sure to continue my daily practices even when I’m on the road. Keeping my routine helps me to feel like I’m really not that out of my element. If I can keep my program strong, when I do have to have dinner with my colleagues and the alcohol is flowing, I don’t feel tempted. I’ve been using this system for many years, and it’s helped me make it through every business trip without an issue. Some may say it sounds excessive, but if it keeps me sober, that’s all that matters.

How To Have A Night Life And Keep Your Sobriety

Being sober doesn’t mean that I have to avoid all the places that have alcohol for the rest of my life. It also doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t live my life. It just means that when I do go to places that have alcohol, I have to be a little more careful than other people. I got sober young, at 22, so I definitely wasn’t ready to give up my days of going to bars or clubs and dancing with my girlfriends. Luckily, I had other sober friends that also liked to go out, so I was able to go dancing with them. I never went to a bar or club without at least one other sober person.

I also quickly learned some tricks to help me feel a part of, and not like I stuck out like a sore thumb as the only one without a drink in their hand. I learned to order energy drinks, or any fizzy drink, instead of alcohol. With a drink in my hand, I had less people asking to buy me a drink or wondering why I wasn’t drinking. I had a few times where people we met at the bar or club wanted me to try a sip of their drink. I quickly learned to politely say no, but to also be assertive with my answer.

The best part of going out with friends and not drinking, is that I was able to remember the entire night. I stayed with my friends and spent time with them, instead of hooking up with some rando and putting myself in danger. I had NO hangover the next day, and I was able to continue on with my life without shame about the night before. And I never had to worry about driving home drunk. I’m sure I’ve saved countless lives by getting sober.

While getting sober can seem very scary, and like it’s an end to all the fun, it doesn’t have to be. Getting sober saved my life and allowed me to actually live my life. Before I was only existing to get loaded. Now, I’ve had so many adventures and amazing memories that I know I never would have had if it weren’t for me getting sober. So, while I have to be a little more cautious when I’m around alcohol, I’m still able to do what I want with my life. Sobriety isn’t limiting, drinking is.

How I Stay Sober One Day At A Time

When I first stopped drinking and using, one day sober seriously seemed like a lifetime. Those first thirty days felt like an eternity. I attended an outpatient program to help me get sober. They recommended that I attend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings to build a support group and remain accountable after the outpatient program was over. I eventually found a group of friends in those meetings. I quickly developed a routine of attending meetings, fellowshipping, and working the steps with my sponsor. In the beginning, it was slow going for me. It took me awhile to get through the steps, and to get my life back together.

I continued to take direction and seek advice when something happened and I didn’t know what to do. I eventually was able to get a job, start paying bills, and become responsible for myself again. As I continued to work the steps, I was able to make amends to the friends and family in my life that I had hurt with my using. That was extremely powerful. It didn’t take away the guilt and shame overnight, but it helped me get a little closer to forgiving myself for my behavior.

After I had about 2 years clean, I started going to therapy, and have actually continued going ever since. Therapy has helped me dive deeper into my triggers and the effects that my childhood has on my present day. It has helped me overcome a lot of the struggles that I come up against in my day to day life.

Attending meetings and continuing therapy has given me many ideas of healthy ways for me to stay sane and sober for the long haul. Everyone is different, and everyone finds different things that work for them. For me, attending a few meetings a week, meeting with my sponsor regularly, attending therapy, and having a strong support group is crucial. I also do small things on a daily basis, including journaling, spending some time meditating, and reading a piece of motivational literature every morning. That may seem like a lot, but it only takes me around 20 minutes.

I write a little bit everyday, and I don’t always know what to write about, but as I put pen to paper things seem to flow out. It could be feelings I didn’t know I had or mundane details about my day, but it always seems to clear my mind and help me throughout the day. For my meditation, I simply sit quietly for 5 to 10 minutes and focus on my breathing. Whenever my mind seems to wander I just bring it back to my breath. And that’s it! It’s simple, but it helps me focus and keep calm during my day when something throws me off track.

Overall, I found my sobriety one day at a time by going to meetings and following suggestions. As time went on, I found what things work the best for me. And that’s what I love about AA meetings, you can take what you like and leave the rest. For me, it was about finding a routine that worked for me, that was easy for me to continuously do everyday. And I try never to forget that we only have a daily reprieve, that we have to take action every day to maintain our sobriety and sanity. If I can do a little something every day to keep the life I have today, it’s easy to continue the work.

The post How To Stay Sober appeared first on True North Recovery Services.

Substance use and abuse has no borders. Anyone can fall victim to drug and alcohol dependence, including the ones we hold as our protectors; namely law enforcement. Police officers and first responders are trained to enforce the laws while shielding their emotions. They are trained to hold themselves to a higher standard and avoid any on or off-duty situation that would place them in, “conduct unbecoming an officer”. Having a drug or alcohol dependence on top of being in a position to protect and serve puts great stress and anxiety on the officer. It may be as if there is no way out, but to stop on their own, or struggle in the torments of addiction alone. Police officers see day in and out the devastating affects drugs and alcohol have on the community. We should look inward more and not build a wall between “us” and “them”. Whatever we do for a living, or what socioeconomic group we see ourselves in, makes no difference when it comes to addiction.

A large number of people who commit theft and other crimes to support their addictions are viewed as less than or of having a moral failure because they choose to use drugs and alcohol and become addicted. Many people don’t understand why those afflicted can’t just stop their behavior or cut back on their use. Command staff want their officers to “get fixed” and come back to work ready to go fight crime. For the ones dependent on drugs or alcohol the reality is that they have lost their choice to discontinue use. Yes, it was their choice to first pick up that drink or drug, but after continued use their body’s physiologically need the substance just to survive day to day. Our brain functions are diverted or reprogramed, thus blocking cognitive thought and the choice not to use. With the proper guidance and a willingness to change, there is hope for the addicted person to recover.

I know first-hand of the devastating results of addiction. I was a police officer for 19 years and lost my career and much more because of my addiction. I thought there was no hope for me because I couldn’t stop on my own and feared reaching out for help. I was in shame and didn’t trust that if I asked for help it would remain confidential. I felt hopeless and alone, but thought I had to handle my issues by myself, I was so wrong. There is confidential help to those who seek it.  A discussion with a therapist or private physician can bring about several options that an officer may be unaware of, and these professionals are bound by strict confidentiality laws.  Unless there is a mandated reporting situation discussed, such as child abuse or imminent suicidality, there is no report made.  It simply goes into the physicians notes and stays there.  Even employer based insurance companies who are paying for treatment of any kind are bound by similar laws and cannot report any alcohol or drug use back to an employer, such as the police department or the FBI. 

Addiction does not always look the same. It does not follow a pattern or show itself easily to many. Having a problem with alcohol or drugs, gambling, sex, or anything doesn’t always mean you steal and commit crimes. However, it can lead to this level if not accepted and treated, even for those sworn to uphold the law. The hope is to treat the problems before it takes you to the darkest reality you can imagine, and everything is gone. Confidentiality and protecting your image and respect is important, but you have to take a leap of faith before anything can change in the positive. It really doesn’t matter anyway in the end who knows, if you lose everything because of your addiction. I personally found this fact out myself.

Police officers are less likely to seek help because they may not know how to go about seeking help within the organization. If the department has an Employee Assistance Program (EAP), concerns about confidentiality may be an issue. Who can I trust? Can I trust fellow officers in peer support? For me, the answer was “No”. I couldn’t trust myself, how could I trust anyone? Cops are the biggest talkers and story tellers. The gossip and rumors among officers are more prevalent than middle school. The fear of having your superiors and fellow officers find out that you have a problem is daunting.

Police officers fear the stigma of being labeled as having a drug or alcohol problem. Many will not seek help and keep it to themselves until it is so noticeable that they get called in and questioned about their lack of work performance or general appearance. Some may continue living in turmoil and end up making a series of poor decisions leading to termination or incarceration.

Police officers are the ones who help others and sacrifice their safety to protect the safety of others. It is no wonder why many officers don’t seek help. They are the ones that are sworn to help, not be helped. Asking for help and admitting that they are stuck in addiction can be perceived as a sign of weakness. Police officers must handle the situation, maintain professionalism, hold back emotions and go home safely. The stigma of having a substance abuse issue keeps many quiet. The fear of not getting the promotion or the loss of respect from fellow officers and command staff keeps officers stuck in the grasp of addiction.

What a heavy load to bare, realizing that you are out of control because of drugs and alcohol. Not having the choice to stop any longer, and unable to stop on your own. Hearing others describe people being inflicted with drugs or alcohol as less than human because of their actions. The crimes and violence that are a direct result of their addictions are surreal to hear, if you are the one they are really talking about. What does it take to raise your hand and stand up? Unless we all come together and realize that drug and alcohol abuse can hit anyone in any profession, many will suffer. There is a solution if we are willing to stand up and protect the ones who protect us.

Police officers are considered to be at an exceptionally high risk for several mental health and substance use disorders.  Among them are alcohol dependency, depression, generalized anxiety disorder, and post traumatic stress disorder.  If you or one of your fellow officers needs help, get it.  Being the man or woman on the job who makes a bad call at the wrong time can have fatal consequences for peace officers.  We care for our physical health so we are ready on the spot for the job, we also have to take care of our emotional and mental health equally.  The officer I want next to me is the one who is alert, grounded, and with the best judgment they can have.  If you need help, get help. 

Author: Michael C. Koch, BS, CADC II, SAP, is a former narcotics detective who now works as an addiction counselor at True North Recovery Services, an intensive outpatient program in Encinitas, CA.  Michael is dedicated to helping all of those who suffer but he has a special place in his heart for the recovering peace officer. 

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